I channeled DJT last night and found disturbing thoughts. I reached a place far beyond the media, Ivanka, even Marla, and held in my mind the true essence of our president.

He spoke to me, and I was alarmed. He started by saying in 1995 he was going to be President of the United States. He was going to take hold of the world and do what he knew was right.

He would start by eliminating all Muslims, shovel all illegal entrants back to Mexico, and establish Military Law. He would fire all LGBT service people from the military and make Joe Arpaio the sheriff of the Western United States. All gay legislators would be reassigned to attending dog rescue centers, Nancy Pelosi and Maxine Waters would be chief of staff and defense secretary.

He would then surrender all troops to the government of Pakistan, destroy all nuclear weapons, and have dinner with Kim Jung Il at a sushi bar in Tokyo.

Then I woke up and realized I had been watching the latest news from CNN.

God bless our wonderful, unbiased media.